Moving on is hard to do, what about the guilt that follows you?

Anyone else feel the tremendous amount of guilt when you find yourself able to smile or just be happy about something? It's been 9 months, going on 10 and I still find it hard to thoroughly enjoy anything. I keep reminding myself that my mom IS in a better place, she wants me to be happy. This guilt definitely hits home when I go to visit her. It is hard to go, and it's equally hard to leave. Everyday is a constant to be happy. Repeated thoughts run through my mind about how I can be happy when my mom isn't alive and healthy. This is when I have to sit and tell myself, she worked long and hard to provide me with a good life, I cannot go on and waste her efforts. Our loved ones would not want anything but the best for their families. It isn't easy, but my mom gave me strength and courage. Life is what I make it, and together we will all grieve together and get through the storm. No rain no rainbows.